The first theme was generated from the verbatim of the first question which was asked to polygamous women. She said that she and her husband was working in the same organization. So why is the phrase second wife so unnerving? Emerging broken, bruised and bleeding from a previous fall when the parachute didnt quite open, he is nevertheless willing to do it again and at an even greater risk-- everyone knows second marriages are risky. Ethnology. In another study man's wife having been diagnosed with a mental health problem, infertility, a man has only daughters or having children mentally and physically sick or man's wife older than he is, and exchange marriage are common reasons were discussed in a previous study. ASEAN Journal of Psychiatry received 934 citations as per google scholar report, Research Article - ASEAN Journal of Psychiatry (2021), Received: 20-Nov-2021 And more children too they are all so respectful and loving, a clear example of the home theyre being brought up in.. Thamsanqa clears his throat and holds his wifes hand as he tells us that after being married for 15 years, he knew he needed a second wife. Shes a nurse, not one of those rude ones, and she was kind and very helpful. Both verbal and written consent was obtained. My husband is as much a second husband as Im a second wife. I defended my mother and my dad just watched everything unfold. After three years of this, Eva decided to file for divorce but her husband, Evelyn says, is still trying to milk her for all her money. 5. : A Liberal Case Against Polygamy. Yet we make as felicitous a stepfamily as you are likely to find. The 58-year-old and her husband, Thamsanqa*, 65, married when Lillian was 18. I realized, several years after I remarried, that one of my oldest friends never quite forgave me for getting on with life after my divorce. Though plural marriage is banned in developed courtiers, it is surprisingly common, and popular, that 55% of the women share their husbands in developed countries while an average of 16% of women in less developed nations. The two new wives bullied my mother and called her names. She has never absolved me from the sin of being happy. The study was conducted in 2017 with approval from the institution and polygamous women. Lillian had twins Zakhele* and Zanele* (now 39), and thought she and her husband were happy. Why polygamy is good for women. - Slate Magazine 6 Truths About Being A Second Wife - Polygamy.com Old Medication, New Use: Can Prazosin Curb Drinking? Al-Krenawi A, Slonim-Nevo V. Success and failure among polygamous families: The experience of wives, husbands, and children. The advantages of polygamy were included sharing in-house responsibilities and child-rearing. The Advantages and Disadvantages of Polygamous Homes. She stated, I allowed a co-wife in my marriage because I was not able to have more children after my second child. Mrs. Gulzar was another first/senior wife having three daughters. "Eva*, now 60 was married to my father for 28 years, and then one day he said he would like to add two more wives - they were twins," she recalls. What are the disadvantages of being a second wife? Unhappiness and loneliness: Mrs. Gulzar was unhappy about a lot of things in the marriage. But honestly, if your significant other has already had a wedding, who cares? Lateron, both married. The interviews were verified for accuracy and consistency by listening to the recordings. The impact of polygamy on women's mental health: A - ResearchGate 2005; 44(1): 81-98. We speak to the wives of a polygamist who say their domestic - Drum Eva*, now 60 was married to my father for 28 years, and then one day he said he would like to add two more wives they were twins, she recalls. Causes and Consequences of Polygamy: an Understanding of Coping When he proposed to her she first came to me to check if he had my blessing. Third theme: The coping strategies used by polygamous women have included faith in religion, fate role, and compromise with the co-wives. ASEAN Journal of Psychiatry peer review process verified at publons. The female sharia law judge who decides if men can take a second wife "I have no physical disability that perhaps could've prompted his decision, he just decided that he needed a second wife," she says. My mother is a retired teacher and my dad could never keep a job, so she supported us. Polygamy has become very common in numerous cultures particularly in Islamic society. However, on appeal the. She believed that by allowing for a co-wife, she too would be blessed to have a child. There are many things about a divorced family that can be nontraditional, especially holidays. The appropriate strategies which are purposefully working by co-wives must be enhanced with proper education and implement programmers that teach coping mechanisms and stress management. Yet there are many other cultures that support a mans choice to take more than one wife and believe it is something that can benefit the women as well. Changes to the law have meant that women in customary marriages now have more protection than before. Then there is the hardship of making a living by yourself as a single person. Emerging broken, bruised and bleeding from a previous fall when the parachute didn't quite open, he is. polyandry, marriage of a woman to two or more men at the same time; the term derives from the Greek polys, "many," and anr, andros, "man." When the husbands in a polyandrous marriage are brothers or are said to be brothers, the institution is called adelphic, or fraternal, polyandry. 'I don't care about anything. Their average marriage duration was 11 years and living in the same house or compound. The co-wives shared their several experiences and reasons why they allowed their husbands for 2nd or 3rd marriage. These themes emerged in 3 main themes as Causes of polygamy, outcomes of polygamy, and coping strategies of polygamous women. Lots of people are betraying their partners while pretending to be monogamous. Polygamy.com. I was so sad and heartbroken to the point of not speaking to him for three days! After calming down Lillian communicated her feelings and concerns to Thamsanqa, and he explained his point of view. Literature indicates that the structure of the polygamous women's families badly affected the psychological and social functioning of polygamous women and children [9-11]. Judge Nenney says every week she hears cases where a couple is charged for having sex outside marriage. The average duration of polygamy was about 11 years so most of the co-wives had been accepted co-wives and engaged themselves in several activities and got comfort considering it fate role, religious permission, and compromise for the sake of their children's future rather than divorce. Mrs. Mustafa was another 1st wife. 6. Image from The Star. Eva wasn't happy, but her husband went ahead and traditionally married the two women without her consent. 2002; 32(1-2): 58-66. She got a marriage proposal from a married man to be his second wife as his first wife had a medical condition due to which he had not been able to sleep with her for last 11 years. Islam allows men to marry up to four wives at one time but the condition is to maintain equality and Justice in all the possession whatever a man holds in material means [1]. My wife and I were happy there was absolutely nothing wrong with our marriage. Growing up my mother was abused by my father, Thembi says as she wipes away a tear. The supervisor of the study verified the emerging themes and contents. Countries Where Polygamy Is Legal 2023 - worldpopulationreview.com In this concern two research experts (co-authors) were consulted. After 11 years passed when she had not conceived her in-laws forced her husband for co-wife. In many typical cultures like India, China, and Pakistan infanticide is a very common practice despite an illegal and social evil [5-7]. If the person in the second marriage who was married before didnt have children, then chances are they never have to even talk to their ex again. Bigamy occurs when one man illegally marries more than one woman. Should a Muslim man marry a second wife? To seek the coping strategies to accept the new relationship by co-wives. Polygamy: As Supreme Court decides on banning it, here's how Muslim Many first marriages start with two young, giddy people, unfettered by the realities of life. She tried her best to convince her husband not to get married to another woman but she was not succeeded. Second marriages are like the mature version of you getting married again. But it's a hoax that has hit at least four countries to date . Obviously, it doesnt mean your marriage will end, just that it is more likely to than the first. Polygamy is often confused with polyamory and bigamy. She always imposes a fine of 5,000 Malaysian ringgit (around $1,700) and six strikes of a cane. Polygamy in Egypt: Why I Decided to Marry a Second Wife - Cairo Scene The policymakers and law enforcement agencies should pass laws for the welfare of polygamous women. The Review of Economic Studies. 1st wife of Mrs. Imam and 2nd wife Miss Nadia have attended some important ceremonies together but they did not get along (Table 2). This can make for a challenging home life from day to day. She told, It was very shocking and tragic for me to have another female in my husband's life". Table 3: Frequency of co-wives for religion faith, admit the fate role, and compromise as coping strategies in polygamous marriages (N=11). Mrs. Imam, Mrs. Ahmad, Mrs. Kamran, and Miss Nadia also admitted co-wives relationship and compromised with this relationship (Table 3). Knowing what you value will help you build the most meaningful life possible. ASEAN Journal of Psychiatry ISSN: 2231-7805 (In Print)E-ISSN ConCourt: Second wife only with first wife's say-so - Daily Maverick They must be educated through different seminars and programs to cope with the stress and manage other consequences of polygamy. It's a common misconception that polygamy means one man married to multiple wives. Not many people like a second wife. The study was an attempt to gain perspective about the causes of polygamy, its consequences, and the most important womens ways of coping strategies in polygamous marriages. Being Muslim doesn't change the biology of pain, of envy, and of sadnessthese are human emotions that are consequences of the act. She does not have an apartment . 2007; 21(1), 108-127. Dont be too quick to bash him, Lillian advises other women in her position. In Pakistan polygamous women also facing many psycho social problems because our society is far away from the original teachings of Islam about polygamy. Data was collected from 11 polygamous women who consented to an in-depth interview. The current study provides preliminary data on women in polygamous marriages and the foundation for further research.
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