April 9, 2012, 5:05 pm. Then the unlikely happens. You want to work on your social skills. Shed be less of a real woman if she left the kid on its fathers doorstep and went off footloose and fancy-free while he was left to raise it all alone. Ok, so this dude: The NBA star is reportedly expecting his third child with personal trainer Maralee Nichols, per The Daily Mail. THERE IS NO CHILD AT CONCEPTION. And most important of all, whats all this talk of ASKING WOMEN to have abortions? Susie is lost. The idea that he owes his life to her now that hes fathered her child is precisely the reason so many people are in unhappy marriages and there is such a high number of marital affairs. Everyone experiences the ups and downs of a relationship differently, and the same goes for breakups. Obviously, NEITHER man is responsible for the child the woman wanted it, she grew it. React. Abstinence is 100% effective, just saying. And no it shouldnt be just the womans responsibility that the bf just met if she decides to not have an abortion or give the child up for adoption. April 9, 2012, 2:54 pm. The argument is that Im on birth control. is not the same as I will not get pregnant from this sexual encounter. You know how babies are made. Medications interfere with birth control, not taking it at the same time and whole other host of reason why she could have legitimately gotten pregnant on birth control. I spoke with him a second time after many missed calls and he seemed really upset about his situation and begged me to talk to him. Image Source. Drugs was just one theory to how she got that way. Really? Please help. If it's been a relatively short amount of time (it's all relative, but I like to say three months or less), since the breakup/last time he/she spoke with you What is he supposed to do to prove hes not scum? Here 13 common reasons guys start missing and try to go back to their ex. As others have said, arguably this is more denial and shock than actual fury. I think its dispicable that you would consider re-uniting with a man that thinks his only obligation as a father is financial support. Remember that episode when Rachel told Ross she was pregnant and he freaked out because they used condoms? in whether or not a child is a result here is what all you men should do at like age 18 or whatever. April 9, 2012, 11:23 am. Everyone in this situation sounds like they belong on Jerry Springer. April 10, 2012, 5:54 pm. reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2008): A If you support legal abortion, then you emphatically deny that men create children. honeybeenicki This guy, you can most definitely live without. Dolce Got Another Girl Pregnant He Broke My Heart.. female Have whatever sex you want. Run. Or shes financially and emotionally ready to have a baby. April 9, 2012, 3:57 pm. The pull out method? A forty year old man who can be tricked into believing that intercourse, with birth control or not, cannot lead to a baby is an idiot. Take this as a lesson learned. They dont see the need to lie about it, Meanwhile, my friends and I who havent gotten HIV all (surprise, surprise!) the thing is, he has a 4 yr old daughter. You dont get to badmouth this woman just because she wont get an abortion that YOU and your boyfriend want her to get. You want to look awesome in comparison to this new guy. Have an abortion or Ill be furious = Have fries with that or Ill be furious > Psycho. No, then I would say she is just stupid. First of all, it can take a bad psychological toll on someone who doesnt want to have it in the first place. Well, they dont entirely disregard fairness to the mother and/or father, but the childs interests take precedent. I havent, and even though I am 110% pro-choice, Im not sure if its something I could actually do. Its crazy how much abject hatred there is out there. Miranda Lambert's new cop hubby lived a 'secret life' - Page Six The last time I checked it took more than one person to make a baby. Neither is that birth control is not infallible. 1) Like it or not, men have one point where they can decide whether or not to risk becoming parents (ie before sex, they choose the degree of risk based on what, if any, precautions they take). April 10, 2012, 6:56 pm. 2. I dont think she should have any sort of legal say about the decision to keep the baby, but I dont think shes committing some horrendous crime for judging it. I just think its extremely scumbag-ish to want nothing to do with your child, no matter how it was conceived. [The feminist movement died one millisecond after the first impact. This isnt about a child who has been born and who has needs. You seem upset at biology that women are the ones that carry the children and and therefore has the ability to decide or not to continue on with a pregnancy whereas a guy doesnt have that same right. Why is it that she gets to have his child and not you? only an ass would be furious at anyone other than himself when he becomes obligated to provide for a child that he created.. I dont think its necessarily fair. I know Im not, but thats mainly because Im in a foul mood and feel feisty. And as so many others have said dontt want a kid? Thats the responsible thing for anyone to do after having unprotected sex and before beginning a new relationship. Part of the reason I feel no one should be forced to be a parent is that those who are forced to be parents often cause the most lasting damage to the children. I (28F) found out that my boyfriend (30M) is talking to another girl, just a day after we broke up (no proper closure). Meaning, a woman SHOULD ask the guy who knocked her up what he would like. reader, marissa0916+, writes (26 August 2015): A If youre going to call anyone a slut, Chuck (which you shouldnt, its really very rude) why not the dude who slept with someone he cant stand and got her pregnant? As a woman, I have to take responsibility that any man I have sex with may very well walk away from me never to be heard from again leaving me with a child to raise alone. Having unprotected sex is not a crime, but if you have sex without a condom with someone you dont know or trust entirely yet, you need to know that there is the possibility a child could be conceived, either by accident or deception. Ive been in the position where I chose to keep my baby when the father wanted to abort. It did say that he was furious at her for not getting an abortion. 1. How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If You Are Pregnant but he wants me and wants to marry me as he said all along iseeshiny lets_be_honest I dont care. As for what you do: I personally would ask him to ask the woman to get a paternity test. I have a friend in somewhat related situation. If you dont want a baby use birth control. When I was young, but old enough to ask, my mom always told me that my biological father just wasnt ready to be a daddy. He is doing alot better. lets_be_honest Reading your letter, you are far too immature to handle this. hamster van beethoven Heres how I interpreted it. It doesnt sound like shes ready or willing to deal with him having fathered a child, especially if he changes his mind and wants to be a part of its life. And you cant have conception without sperm. That is what passes for reality in your world? And the world goes round. And the legal system that obligates him was in place when he put himself in this position. You are an entitled, awful, C.U.N.T for even THINKING that you have an opinion on what this woman does with her pregnancy. Dude, get away from this guy pronto! Oh, and im missing the misogyny in that child support comment. While youre at it make sure to pop out a few more kids yourself, too. BTW, has he heard about condoms?? or if shes just done too many drugs or something and her brain is rotting away. If they dont want to be taken, then they should think before they poke. I noticed you dutifully avoided addressing that.. Whether that be by having the child, supporting the child, adoption, abortion, whatever. The father would divorce himself from the child and any obligations to the mother. Also, it delights me that you base your assumptions on general human behavior on the Jerry Springer Show. Changing the facts and then arguing them is just as useless as creating facts and arguing those whether you admit to it or not. It really isnt fair, but that doesnt mean we have to make it more unfair. Everyone needs to quit having sex and then saying they hate or cant stand that person. Why should she abort the baby I mean come on. Hell of course express things in a way that maximizes the chance of him not doing any more to hurt the LW than necessary. One is right next to me . I weep for the younger folks out there. And I appreciate that he made his decision and stuck with it, instead of deciding to drop in and out whenever he felt like. bittergaymark Hes allowed to not want to be a father! April 10, 2012, 5:46 pm. He begged me not to go, but I left anyway because I didnt think things would change and I wanted him to see what life was like without me in hopes hed run after me. Men AND women have walked away from children. Sounds like he found something easy, and easy cost a lot.money and happiness. I just feel that they are, at times, the least bad solution. Adoption is a completely different matter. Happens all the time. and our If you want to hold this poor man responsible for some child some women decided to create, thats just mean and patriarchal crap. I cant imagine what my friend would have had to deal with if that was his child and he had to have dealt with her for 18 years. If a guy wants absolutely to avoid becoming a father, he is responsible for using additional BC or not having sex with women if he doesnt know what their stance on unintended pregnancy would be. This desicion has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him. Consider that this man is 40 years old, but still immature. Yes, no birth control is perfect, blah blah. April 10, 2012, 6:58 pm. There isnt even a child on the scene yet (!) Nope. ha, Ive done too many drugs too. Thats shitty. Birth control isnt full-proof. Turns out that the bout of food poisoning she got after their anniversary dinner and the diarrhea that came with it messed with the effectiveness of her birth control pills. His utter failure to own up to his actions is appalling. bittergaymark Bless her heart. Come on, though Three times? That way you will know things like what you both agree to do if she gets preggers, and how soon you jettison him if he goes and has sex with someone else ad knocks her up. so we have a 8mth baby. Because hes treating the mother of his child, and his child, with such disdain and disregarding his responsibility to him/her. Just reduces the chances. I thought you were disputing the comments about it being not that contagious by disclosing that you were HIV positive. Except that hes not. Im also a longtime lurker who was a little taken aback by all the vitriol aimed at this mans head. He can bang the neighbor, the lunch lady, and his friendly neighborhood bartenderwhoever. lets_be_honest April 10, 2012, 10:20 pm. And its also appalling that he would order a woman to abort. I mean sure I can relate to the horrible emotions one gets about thinking that their guys (even if hes an ex at this point!) Only men-children would not use a condom in this situation. And that, fair or not, men do not have the option to compel an abortion or opt out of their financial obligation for any resulting children. The good news is that yours are a little less awful. Then, after giving him an ultimatum to get it together or lose you, you felt it best to move away and hoped he would run after you. Now I also believe that the LW is exposing herself to STDs not this guy, because she knows that he had unprotected sex with another women, and she still chooses to be with him either way. Of. Whether or not she trapped him is irrelevant, in my opinion. bittergaymark Well be together forever no matter what. is thrown around just to get in some dumb girls pants just as often as I wont get pregnant. is thrown around to trap ignorant dumbasses. Your constant blatant disregard for others is increasingly more and more shocking Plus it is only the heteros that are so steadfast and determined to keep fucking people like me over and over All the while, claiming they want smaller government Then get the FUCK out of my bedroom and out of my fucking life. iseeshiny For all you know she could be 35 and realize that this may be her one chance to have a baby. lets_be_honest New readers, welcome to Dear Wendy, a relationship advice blog. because it is the womans responsibility to take her pill on time, etc if thats the type of birth control shes chosen. We dont even know that this other woman told the bf that she is pregnant. My hand has never been comfortable in cooler weather ever since.. At a minimum LW needs to take a wait and see attitude. His response to my comment was all dont tell me what to do with my body. Last I checked being gay doesnt mean you are also a genius who never makes mistakes. She loved him back then but broke up with him over this but went back to him 20 years later thinking he grew up.2016. In the future, if I should ever have the desire to date again I would use condoms in addition to birth control to make sure I dont get diseases. It doesnt even come close. she doesnt have to be unlucky or a liar to be taking her pills incorrectly. It's painful to witness when you're still in love with a person, but one of the most common reasons why a person would jump into a new relationship right after a breakup is to mask the pain of it all. bittergaymark I speak "strongly" sometimes beca. Dont get me wrong, the child should be taken care of and taken responsibility for but it can never be the reason why you do or dont stay together that decision should be based purely on the possibility for a good relationship between you grown ups. If youd like to share you e-mail, we could correspond more about this. She barely knows her new boyfriend, yet she's already pregnant with the guy's baby and is forced to plan a future with him. Tough shit. Think of the children. LW, your boyfriend is an ass and youre acting like one. But I answer younger peopleI even have made some comments on Teen Rant. Maam, hes made a choice. How quickly (or slowly) he got into a new relationship after your breakup. But I would not for one reason other than the fact that trusting him again would be difficult to do (and that would IMHO b. Change the subject and attack is not debate and makes you look pathetic. The law provides that the parent taking care of the child is entitled to support from the other parent. Is this Twilight, for Gods sake? I was devastated. It is my biggest pet peeve when a woman blames the other woman for her boyfriends stupid actions. And the case for this man gets more and more ridiculous. Its a two way street guys. I feel no connection to my biological siblings, even though they desire a relationship with me. I dont agree with it, but the beauty of being an American is we both get to have our views. Aside from social media stalking, many ex-couples continue to actually communicatetrying to stay friends. Ive stayed away from this question because I honestly dont think I have a very well informed opinion on the matter. Exactly why I advocate abortions in those cases. Generally it turns into a bunch of bleeps. I just personally get outraged that this is the case: that he would have to pay support regardless, but that she can opt out of it. April 9, 2012, 11:16 am, Oh, good lord. We were on and off for few months, and during that time we both dated other people. You deserve that label for attacking a woman that you dont even know, for trying to blame her for sperm-jacking your loser boyfriend and for suggesting that she is trying to trap him. April 10, 2012, 10:41 am. Why do you want to be with such a douchenozzle? When they were last together, he cheated on her many times and got another girl pregnant. Actually no. I noticed you dutifully avoided addressing that. He ordered her to get an abortion? April 10, 2012, 9:40 pm. The entire point of my post(s) is that the paternity laws in this country (which is a central consideration of the letter and the story) are out of whack and unbalanced to the point of being unfairly punitive to men. April 9, 2012, 4:55 pm. If a woman has sex with a man she should be prepared for the fact that it could result in her under going a medical proceedure, be it an abortion or childbirth. Temperance But then it really IS all about needless solidarity on here as of late to be sure.