If you want, Ill give you a discount, baby. You have an old soul. Keep calm and be awesome. As unlikely as this is, it might be wise to double-check. Because it sounds like some kind of automated message. Im always there when I need me. The truth is, if you really want to get him back, you should follow the steps outlined here.. provided, of course, that he really is dead." 73. Im jealous of people who dont know you. I never even listen when you tell me them. "See, I will finally make you smile.". My lawyer told me not to answer that question. I am doing a bit better than before, but not nearly as awesome as I am going to be. I'm fine. Here's the good news: I've collected plenty of answer options for you to make that unbearably awkward question a little more bearable. Tip #3 - Confidence is Key. Obviously, thats because I dont have a boyfriend/girlfriend! Is It A Bad Idea To Lose My Virginity To An Old Crush? Alright so far, but there is plenty of time for things to get bad. If they insist that they are bad at replying, you should unfollow them, because you are bad at following people who are bad at replying. Pick your struggle. Do you really care? Are you serious? Rotting flesh is less offensive than you. Some of the best, wittiest, and most humorous quotations in the English language are quotations about age, childhood, adolescence, middle age, and old age most of all, about growing old! Do you want the short or the detailed version? It's one of the best replies to "How are you?" Sounds like effort to me. 1. Like are you asking because you really wanna hear whats up?. It must have been a long, lonely journey. 94. 15. How are you? could be much more than a basic question, but we tend to stick to the same old, half-hearted responses. 75. So, how does average sound? 5. It does seem like a massive gap doesnt it? I cant really complain, but I will still try. Whether its the Roman empire or feudal society. "Can't complain" is a normal response to the question, but by throwing in the following sentence, you should get a laugh. 77. Over The Phone or On The Phone Which is Correct? You go first, lets see if mine was better or worse. Funny Answers to How Are You Doing? Great, because my name wasnt in todays obituaries. This one is good. 15. Yes, believe it or not, it really does happen. There's no reason why you should have to express emotions to whoever asked. Ive never seen such a small mind inside such a large head before. Oof, gotta hide! Maybe you can Google it. [Read: How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts]. Stop joking! Looking at my life, half the time I see that I don't live half of what I should! I am not looking for anyone, and neither is anyone looking for me. If you were twice as smart as you are now, youd be stupid. I don't want to give off the wrong impression.". Which just make the unexpected moments of levity all the more hilarious. So, it might be wise to double-check theyre still alive before you complain. What? The person will likely pick up on the joke, making this awkward situation something that can be laughed off. The way youre acting vs reality creates a juxtaposition that highlights their slowness. 3. They used to call them jumpolines, until your mom jumped on one. Because Ive been waiting for you all my life. Sometimes, it can be hard thinking on your feet, especially when youre joking around with your friends or in the midst of a heated exchange. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. "If at first, you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.". Take Your Time. 1. I am really just trying hard to avoid ambiguous questions at this moment. Your 3rd @ has one shot to make a three or you die. I am high-quality, 100% plant-fed. And maybe thats the reason why theyre taking so long to reply. 83. Ive seen your kind before but last time, I had to pay admission. Mark Twain (author), "I like sleeping; it's like death without the commitment." Some people are going to find your witty responses funny, and some people arent. Thats the biggest joke Ive heard recently. Photo by Glenna Rankin on reshot 02 "It has been a while since I've heard from you, and at this point, I'm over it." Could Be Better. Or "Better than some, not as good as others.". *Siri activates front camera*. | Are you surviving? 18. Because Id rather be alone than put up with someones sh*t! Too early to say, it hasnt finished yet. Everything is always better on payday right!? I'd rather answer to a 'What's your favorite "I'd rather die" response alternative' thread on reddit. 16. So perhaps the issue is not that they are taking a long time to reply. 57. Sarcastic comebacks come in handy any time someone is behaving in a particularly annoying way. Ill get back to you tomorrow when the results are in. Thats funny, because everyone on it is a prick. Have a nice life." This text is excellent because you are making him or her feel guilty about ghosting you. funny response to are you still alive. . Make sure the person you say this to is able to take a joke. I hope you like some of them. Why not laugh about it and allow it to bring us closer together? (This is an awesome response if you want to fluster them and catch them off-guard) So much better now that you are with me. Hopefully, not as good as I will ever be. Come on, now I want you to whisper that question slowly to my ear. Its too small to be out there all alone. I dont know where you got your looks, but I hope you kept the receipt. Otherwise, how are people going to get the message that you dont want to keep answering the same questions with the same half-hearted answers? Id love to give you a nasty look, but it appears you already have one. The foundation of any effort to get your ex boyfriend back starts and ends with the no contact rule - which means you probably shouldn't be texting with him in the first place. Its going great, really! Relationships, Marriage, Couples, Grief, Life Coaching, Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner, Relationships, Beauty & Lifestyle, Health & Wellness, Infographic: Tips To Continue A Conversation After Responding To How Are You. For example, when people expect you to say yes, you say no; when people wish you to say a big number, you give a tiny number. Being single is much better than being married. Is that a scar on your face? Overwatch 2 Friendly Reminder To Leave a LIKE & SUBSCRIBE, ThanksJoin this channel to get access to perks:https://www.youtube.com/cha. You might just find one. Someday, you might actually say something intelligent. I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. Holy s**t, you can see me?! Playful and sassy dig, then blocked. You may have noticed that I take a step back when we talk. You can use variations, such as, "Well enough to chat with you if you wish.". 12. Be grateful if it happens in that order. David Gerrold (author), Self-decapitation is an extremely difficult, not to say dangerous, thing to attempt. WS Gilbert (dramatist), I bequeath my entire estate to my wife on the condition that she marries again. Nowadays, potential mates need money. Im telling you, the trash gets taken out more than me. A little bit worse now that youve asked. Brilliant! Thats no excuse for treating someone like they dont exist, especially since 85% of participants said theyd rather be told upfront that someones not feeling it. Maybe the reply is just taking a long time to come back. Another way to say Still Alive? Youre not as bad as everyone says. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. You win the internet. Im in a relationship with myself. 54. Hey, whered you get that nose? 2. Synonyms for Still Alive (other words and phrases for Still Alive). I didnt realize it at first, but I grew up and turned into a Squidward. 90. I've come up with a compilation of funny and clever answers to the question Why are you still single?. Your relationship status is your business alone (and your partners, if you have one). Have you been thinking? 31. Maybe this person really likes you, and they have a heart condition. I play hard to get even if nobody is trying to get me. "I'll get back to you once I'm back from my long-awaited trip to the fridge.". It looks like your face caught fire and someone tried to put it out with a baseball bat. It lets him know that you love spending time together. . Im single by choice. I could never tell when someones flirting with me or if theyre just being nice. (Use a sexy tone). Another excuse that people use is Im just hoping in the shower. As geeky as it is, this funny response to I love you has got to make you chuckle. 26+ Funny Responses to Being Asked on a Date (Replying Yes or No), 31+ Good Comebacks to Use in an Argument With a Girl, Roommate Is Always in Living Room (How To Resolve This), Roommate Brings Unwanted Guests Home! The living are getting rarer. Eugene Lonesco (playwright), Dying is easy; its living that scares me to death. Annie Lennox (musician), If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the UP button. Sam Levenson (humorist), Ive looked that old scoundrel death in the eyes many times but this time I think he has me on the ropes. Douglas MacArthur (general), Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up. Wilson Mizner (playwright), The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades, especially if your teammates are bad guessers. Demetri Martin (comedian), I intend to live forever or die trying. Groucho Marx (comedian), Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing whatsoever to do with it. William Somerset Maugham (author), The art of dying graciously is nowhere advertised in spite of the fact that its market potential is great. Milton Mayer (author), At my age, I do what Mark Twain did. I hate looking at my life and seeing that some of the people that are most important to me aren't here anymore! I really thought you already knew. Acting like a prick doesnt make yours grow bigger. Relationship expert Susan Winter recommends gracefully leaving as the quickest and easiest way out. Edgar A Shoaff (author), "Death is a very narrow theme, but it reaches a wide audience." Your email address will not be published. 3. 5. Just because you have a dick doesnt mean you need to act like one. At minding my own business? April 6, 2018 There's nothing funny about being in a courtroom. Youll never be even half the man your mother is. Because my milkshake doesnt bring boys to the yard. bluntz strain indica or sativa; best mobile number tracker with google map in nepal What a miracle. Some good old fashioned sarcasm, there is nothing wrong with it. It's all about confidence. You just live. I dont mind you talking so much, as long as you dont mind me not listening. Here's a 13-second video explaining how Jennifer Lawrence uses this Surprise Theory: 17. Wait, are you my Superman/Wonder Woman? You grow on peoplebut then again, so does cancer. Here's another way to respond to your crush. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Some Funny Responses to Everyday Questions. I'm used to it, anyway. Want to equip yourself with more responses? (Wriggle your hips), Oh, stop it, will you? That's impossible. Im not single. 3. All rights reserved. It might seem like a joke, but this is what I think. 8. I always root for the little guy. What's your sign? Some people spend all their time on their phone. In fact, they're taking too much of it. "Alright. I dont know how you do it, but after a shower, you look even greasier. Don Draper? If you are in a coma, then that is a valid excuse for not texting back. Rita Rudner (comedian), "When I die, I want my body to be donated for research, but more specifically, to a scientist who is working on bringing dead bodies back to life." Youre not really expecting them to write you an essay. The 'Sex And The City' Cab Light Theory, Revisited, It's Hot When People Call You By Your Last Name, I Never Feel Older Than When I Try To Make A TikTok, Get Even More From Bustle Sign Up For The Newsletter. There is nothing wrong with responding with a funny or witty remark if youre getting annoyed with repetitive questions. I had promised myself I would murder the next person who asked me that question. 50. 66. Plotting how Im going to take over the world. Funny Response to "What Are You Doing?" "I cry." Humor is about creating surprises. Totally fine! It's definitely a better reply than the standard, "I'm fine.". At the end of the day, if theyre not putting in the effort to let you know theyre not interested, theyre probably not worth your time. [Read: 20 things you MUST know to master a dry sense of humor]. funny response to are you still alive 09 June 2022. no disease, including cancer, can exist in an alkaline environment / siberian husky mask types Stop asking me why Im single! Tell her that you're there for her to make her laugh, if she needs some company. A truly stinging sarcastic response to I love you. If ugliness was measured in bricks, I would be the Great Wall of China. Hemali is an ICF-Certified ACC Level Life Coach with 3 years of experience in relationship, marriage, and grief coaching. You nervously reply "yeah, but I'm a little busy and-", only for one person to reply "um, no one asked you. Call the police." 13 Quora User Thats because I only enjoy long, romantic walks to the fridge. You may join me, though. Living an amazing dream. Because Jamaican me crazy! Tell them to stop being nosy and avoid answering. Are you asking just to make yourself feel better? Ever wanted to be the wise-ass who always has a comeback for everything? Now that is pretty f****** funny. You were a young man when you last spoke. Save it for your best friend, but avoid using it on your teacher. Who told you that? Susan Winter, relationship expert, and bestselling author, This article was originally published on Dec. 15, 2020. But, if they were, it would be a valid reason for them taking so long to reply. Often, we text some people when were at rock bottom, to try and get their help, or just have someone to talk to. It is a common belief that auto-responses are monotonous and boring. Are you always this dumb, or are you making a special effort today? Funny and Clever Answers to "Why Are You Still Single?". Reply. Perhaps it will encourage them to respond quicker in the future. Best 45 seconds of my life. Still with us. Use the opportunity to make a good impression. 6. [Read: 48 smart and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass!]. [Read: How to learn to be witty and win over everyone in the room]. Shane from The L Word? Another common excuse that younger people tend to give when they take a long time to reply is Ive been busy with uni. My lawyer told me not to answer that question. Not so much. Oftentimes, these people just cant help but stick their noses in things they actually have no business with. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Nasty comebacks dont require a lot of wit; instead, these will land your target flat on their back and wallowing in self pity. Opposites attract, right? My day was fine, it was everything else that was the problem. Id smack you, but that would be animal abuse. We found the best coronavirus memes about social distancing, toilet paper, homeschooling, as well as ways to spread a little more kindness. But it does help if you know your audience when responding to someone. Impressive! I see youve chosen this time to humiliate yourself in public. If your crush asks you how you are, you might as well be honest. Are you flirting with me right now? Talk is cheapbut then again, so are you. 82. Thats because the person I like doesnt like me back. #fyp #basketball #viral #fyp #viralvideo #funny #comedy". You don't want to be rude, but it's okay to give them a little sarcasm by using this phrase. If you're brain-dead, you're dead. Figuring out how to respond to a ghoster is all a matter of accepting whats done. Theres this one time when a cute guy/gal asked me if I have a boyfriend/girlfriend and I said yes because I didnt hear the question. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Funny Answers to "Why Are You Still Single?" Because no one worthy has beaten me yet in a card fight! The answer to this question has become so generic it feels like there is an auto-complete machine in our heads! Choose one of these responses to inject some life into your monotonous chats. Physically? Death is inevitablesome might even say it is a terminal inconvenience or a reason to suddenly stop sinning. Trying to remember the name of that weird person you remind me of. If I was any better, vitamins would be taking me. IDK, pick your favorite fictional player. Now I have a much lower opinion of you. Looks like I overestimated the number of brain cells you have. Don't Push It Too Far. Finnish with this conversation! I've Tried, but No One Listens, If I Was Any Better, Vitamins Would Be Taking Me, Better than I Was a Minute Ago, Because You're Here, Okay, Because My Name Wasn't in Today's Obituaries. 81. Because no one worthy has beaten me yet in a card fight! 20 Warning Signs You Are In A Codependent 20 Warning Signs You Are In A Codependent Relationship. Then you die. Perhaps you said something as egregious as Hey. Voltaire (philosopher), "As you get older, three things happen. For some reason, some people think that not texting back is cool. It would be easy to answer that question with a simple "I'm fine, thank you.". Everyone knows a happy dog wags his tail, so if you're feeling happy and joyful, this would be a good response to give to someone asking how you're doing because it's clever and unique. 68. Listen, maybe your crush really did lose their phone. Scientists say the universe is made up of electrons, protons, and neutrons. Or you could be humorous back at them and say "No, I'm not. 9. And it's time for me to make my escape. This one kills me! Im in a loving, committed relationship with my bed. Im sorry. 84. Thats because Im like the last slice of pizza. Definitely will catch your casual convo counterpart off guard and will probably bring a chuckle. Thats because Im still waiting for you. 78. When someone really finds you funny over text, they may send laughing emoji or 'haha'. What if questions can help you form connections fast, but you don't want to rush or force it. To text, most of us need our thumbs. Its good to see youre not letting education get in the way of your ignorance. I love you. still alive 810 GIFs. Moving in with Roommates? Before you complain about anything, be thankful for your life and the things that are still going well.". You sure have a bodacious rackfor a guy. I only fall in love with anime characters. Feeling confident? The only way youll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chickens butt and wait. I will leave that up to your imagination. 13. Just standing here waiting for stupid questions I guess. The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's butt and wait. Im sorry I hurt your feelings. Check out the following infographic for some practical tips to maintain a conversation and take it forward.SaveIllustration: StyleCraze Design Team. Id love to insult you, but you probably wouldnt understand. But Ive also had better. Theyre incapacitated when it comes to sending a simple text, yet they can Insta their whole day. (This line came from the cartoon show. 2. I've Been Thinking About You Too They might not be with you right now, but they will always be on your mind. Turning the question around on them without actually having to answer? Things You Should Know about Birth Control Pills 62 Beautiful Makeup Inspos for Girls Who Are Not Afraid to Play with Color "Like an echo asking a shadow to dance on a mirage, this one is even funnier when an ugly person says, My friend always says "gooder". I'm glad to know that you're alive.". What's your sign? But half the time, it is a nightmare. If corporate email language won't do it, nothing will. Clever comebacks not only showcase your distastethey demonstrate your intelligence, too. This is another funny response that you can use to say that you did a little something different this morning. Im glad that I sleep so peacefully, knowing that Im single and aint nobody cheating on me tonight. My lawyer has stated that I dont have to answer that question. Virginia Woolf (author), "When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction." It was also revealed that 40% of users who said they had done the ghosting did so because they simply didnt know how to explain their disinterest and felt that disappearing altogether was less hurtful. With a self-assured stance and casual body language, you won't create any . I am feeling so good that I have to sit on my hands to stop myself from clapping. I once showed up twenty-four hours early for a date. Like "I am not a Sunday morning inside four walls with clean blood and organized drawers. 1. You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the. Here are some funny, witty, snarky, smart, and sarcastic responses to some of those annoying everyday questions its hard to avoid: I couldnt possibly cover all of the annoying everyday questions that are probably chipping away at you, but here are some of the most popular: Related 26+ Funny Responses to Being Asked on a Date (Replying Yes or No), Related 29+ Funny Responses to Compliments. This just in: Bad communication skills are not trending this season! "If it looks like I give a damn, please tell me. I text the same message ' are you alive' when I haven't heard from them in a while. Thomas Andrew Lehrer (/ l r r /; born April 9, 1928) is an American musician, singer-songwriter, satirist, and mathematician, who later taught mathematics and musical theater.He recorded pithy and humorous songs that became popular in the 1950s and 1960s. If theyre too busy to text you back, you need to be too busy to continue having them in your life, or on your social media. Better inside than outside. Why do you ask? - Anonymous. I hear good things; however, you should never listen to rumors. 41. It's best to say when you're in a horrible situation, like in a class you can't stand. Keep talking. Just because you're using the "what if" format doesn't mean you can ask anything. - Adam Feb 23, 2016 at 17:08 98. If someone is going to ask you the same old everyday questions, I dont think Im being unreasonable when I say theyre probably just going through the motions and not really interested in your answer. 5. 4. 43. I dont feel that great, but look! Voice command: Alexa, define rock paper scissors lizard Spock. 4. I guess what Im trying to say is, pick your response carefully based on who youre talking to. Its a before picture in one of those plastic surgery magazines, isnt it? I have been going through GOT in my work life. Trying to understand the meaning of life or the universe at least. How are you? Sort of. 1. Im too fine for the ugly, yet too ugly for the fine. The person who told you to be yourself gave you some bad advice. 3. 64. 18. Id rather have a doughnut on my finger than a real ring. "Tony, I'm here to be for you what someone once was for me. When a date's playing it hot and cold or you haven't heard from your crush in weeks, these witty ghosting responses will help you clear the air and your mind. Not bad. In the past, one way to send messages was to attach them to a pigeon. No? Follow for more funny content!! So, you changed your mind? I just adore my own company. Spiritually? 17. original sound - Tyren Sams. His songs often parodied popular musical forms, though they usually had original melodies. This was one of the quickest ways there was to send a message from one person to another. Just so you know, I value me time over we time. Did someone leave your cage open? My favorites were: "I'd rather have bamboo shoots shoved under my toenails." "I'd rather be in hell with both arms cut off." He was an angry, creative man. Youre free to go. conservation international ceo; little debbie peanut butter creme pies discontinued. Cant complainI have tried, but no one listens. Chuck Bass? If receiving a text from your ex elicits strong negative feelings, it is best not to respond. She is a Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner from The Priority Academy and has over 17 years of experience in content writing and editing for online media. Shooting yourself in front of the person who asked. What Is A Micro Wedding And How To Plan It? But, if you do say it, it will highlight the problem. Id sue my parents if I had a face like yours. Why Give a Funny Response to an Everyday Question? The music billboard charts got it wrong! This is a good response to throw out there. If this doesnt cause them to reply, then maybe you should rethink your friendship with this person. Maybe you said something so vile, so horrible, so disgusting that they no longer want to speak to you. I was actually talking to my friend". But sometimes sending a little message before excommunication can give you the confidence boost you need to dropkick them from your mind for forever. We all grow up as we get older. a fate worse than death." Today, well look at 30 ways you can respond to a late message or reply. Was that comment meant to offend me? Dont wake me up yet. 12. Im not ready to share my food with anyone yet. 79. Stupidity isnt a crime. They were not expecting someone so wonderful to talk to them. Sometimes, being emotional stops us from replying to the messages of others. 48 smart and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass! WHY!? Taco Tuesday is pressure enough, I tell you! 10. 53. [Read: 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use]. I plead the fifth. 5. Whether my maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. Winston Churchill (politician), At a formal dinner party, the person nearest to death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. George Carlin (comedian), Dont send me flowers when Im dead. I laugh at my own jokes before I finish them.